I remember my breaking point. Well, the last one at least (there were many turning points in my long history with anxiety, you might of experienced this too?).
My Anxiety Disorder had found me and followed me around for years, and I was starting to not see where my anxiety ended, and I began. I was becoming my anxiety, and that just wasn’t working for me anymore.
But then I came across an article (and I kick myself for not saving my bookmarks properly), which flat out asked me this –
What do you choose?
And at first, I was like – no one chooses to have an Anxiety Disorder! I never chose this for myself, how dare you! But after I calmed my farm, and really thought about what they were asking – something flipped inside of me.
What did I choose? What was I choosing?
I couldn’t (and didn’t) choose to have a mental health issue, and I certainly didn’t ask for it to seep into all facets of my life. But I did choose to not let it take over my life any more than it had at that point.
I did have the choice of surrounding myself with the right people to help me figure out this anxiety stuff (a great psychologist, my 3rd and the best!).
I did have the choice of wanting to do better for myself and I could choose to take care of myself.
I did have the choice of doing nothing, or doing something. Anything.
So those 4 simple words – what do you choose – have stayed with me to this day and I use it whenever times get tough. I remind myself that I might not be able to control everything, but I can control my response to it (as best as I can). I could let things happen to me, or I could try and find the parts that I could be responsible for.
It’s been a few good years since I read that article and honestly, it’s still tough but at least I’m able to make better choices, with intention. I choose to try and rise above the anxiety that will always be with me, but no longer overpowers me. I choose to acknowledge the days where I do need a break and pull back on things. And I also choose to be more than my diagnosis, because there are much more interesting things about me that I want to focus on 😉
Today, I choose bravery.
Today, I choose to just breathe.
Today, I choose to find a new psychologist.
Today, I choose to cook myself a meal.
Today, I choose to give myself grace.
Today, I choose to not believe my anxiety.
Today, I choose to stop and enjoy the moments more.
What do you choose?